02.07.2011, 10:00
Eh, I wrote this on my community forum regarding my template for IPB. You may enjoy this as I assume some of you have "been there, done that."
"I recently purchased the initial forum template out of frustration when I couldn't get my pesky nulled versions to work. Now, I should be clear with you when I say "recently" I mean not recently enough. As soon as the $30 was fiercely siphoned from my bank account using automation of PayPal/Apple based products which have still not been able to prove to me that they are any better than the average cash register. Now take a deep breath Apple Product enthusiasts before you digitally choke me to death using your shiny aluminum casted armory. So I put this beautiful template named Carbon Red up and it makes my site look Nazi/Emoish as I'd like it to be, but soon after there is a new line of shinier, sexier, life changing templates called Overlay Blueberry/Apple/Cherry...now other than the fact every single one of them was named after a fucking fruit they look cleaner, brighter, easier to read and colorful with that "new template smell" but at the same time, what in the hell am I really missing here. Now before I go further, this is not a curmudgeonly piece where I start riffing on the economics of obsolescence or complain about the evil IPB Forum Skins empire. After reading up on things I noticed the owner of the IPB Forum Skins company gives no sort of compensation for us sorry souls who bought out of date software and are our of fashion with the newer life changing products, but this however, is where paradox comes into play.
I buy forum skins simply because I am fucking lazy and do not wish to waste my time sitting in front of my light filled 2D rectangle clicking on images and files sifting through hundreds upon hundreds of lines of code and CSS files trying to get an IPB skin to work when I can just drift on over to www.ipbforumskins.com and purchase a pretty template of my choice. IPB Forum Skins is easy, and fun to look through...two qualities I love when I make illogical decisions at 3 AM to buy this skin when I could've gone to my desktop and used the illegal copy I have and remember to set all the user groups to be able to use it. Now as the beautiful owner of this piece of artwork from IPB Forum Skins while at the same time coming to terms with my own flaws that led to the purchase of this here fine product that I will most likely replace in a few months time, but I must also accept that I am so unambitious, I have yet to, and will likely never pursue the reimbursement or trade in or whatever it is that I wish IPB Forum Skins would offer towards me.
Now it isn't new to me that I am a sucker, but no worries, I am not afraid to shoulder the sucker moniker for every single one of us. Now doubt, many of you are stocked with plenty of other things to do than read my pesky little blog post out of frustration after deciding to install this here fine software from IPS. But at the same time here, I have still been unable to finish the free fucking version of angry versions and am just wasting my precious internet usage that could be used for scripting beautiful lines of Pawno that bring you enjoyment and sexual pleasure in the server. But no matter, my credit card number will go through the system, and then, like synapses fire, so will the circuits and wires of that detested little checkout device. Simultaneous signals will be dispatched and just as my bank is notified that I am several dollars poorer, my phone will beep in my pocket and via a pushed email I will be notified as well and then my phone will beep again from Chase Bank telling me that I have nearing my "do not cross" limit and screaming at me to go work like a slave to make more money that I will waste much more quickly then I had earned it -- but during all this I can be rest assured that in just a few short weeks I will be seeing another pretty line of templates and we'll being this cycle all over again."
"I recently purchased the initial forum template out of frustration when I couldn't get my pesky nulled versions to work. Now, I should be clear with you when I say "recently" I mean not recently enough. As soon as the $30 was fiercely siphoned from my bank account using automation of PayPal/Apple based products which have still not been able to prove to me that they are any better than the average cash register. Now take a deep breath Apple Product enthusiasts before you digitally choke me to death using your shiny aluminum casted armory. So I put this beautiful template named Carbon Red up and it makes my site look Nazi/Emoish as I'd like it to be, but soon after there is a new line of shinier, sexier, life changing templates called Overlay Blueberry/Apple/Cherry...now other than the fact every single one of them was named after a fucking fruit they look cleaner, brighter, easier to read and colorful with that "new template smell" but at the same time, what in the hell am I really missing here. Now before I go further, this is not a curmudgeonly piece where I start riffing on the economics of obsolescence or complain about the evil IPB Forum Skins empire. After reading up on things I noticed the owner of the IPB Forum Skins company gives no sort of compensation for us sorry souls who bought out of date software and are our of fashion with the newer life changing products, but this however, is where paradox comes into play.
I buy forum skins simply because I am fucking lazy and do not wish to waste my time sitting in front of my light filled 2D rectangle clicking on images and files sifting through hundreds upon hundreds of lines of code and CSS files trying to get an IPB skin to work when I can just drift on over to www.ipbforumskins.com and purchase a pretty template of my choice. IPB Forum Skins is easy, and fun to look through...two qualities I love when I make illogical decisions at 3 AM to buy this skin when I could've gone to my desktop and used the illegal copy I have and remember to set all the user groups to be able to use it. Now as the beautiful owner of this piece of artwork from IPB Forum Skins while at the same time coming to terms with my own flaws that led to the purchase of this here fine product that I will most likely replace in a few months time, but I must also accept that I am so unambitious, I have yet to, and will likely never pursue the reimbursement or trade in or whatever it is that I wish IPB Forum Skins would offer towards me.
Now it isn't new to me that I am a sucker, but no worries, I am not afraid to shoulder the sucker moniker for every single one of us. Now doubt, many of you are stocked with plenty of other things to do than read my pesky little blog post out of frustration after deciding to install this here fine software from IPS. But at the same time here, I have still been unable to finish the free fucking version of angry versions and am just wasting my precious internet usage that could be used for scripting beautiful lines of Pawno that bring you enjoyment and sexual pleasure in the server. But no matter, my credit card number will go through the system, and then, like synapses fire, so will the circuits and wires of that detested little checkout device. Simultaneous signals will be dispatched and just as my bank is notified that I am several dollars poorer, my phone will beep in my pocket and via a pushed email I will be notified as well and then my phone will beep again from Chase Bank telling me that I have nearing my "do not cross" limit and screaming at me to go work like a slave to make more money that I will waste much more quickly then I had earned it -- but during all this I can be rest assured that in just a few short weeks I will be seeing another pretty line of templates and we'll being this cycle all over again."
