Good Jokes - Printable Version
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Good Jokes - Yaheli_Faro - 16.08.2008
Post any good jokes you heard/know here. :P
here are a few:
1) Two blondes are stuck in a hole, they each start yelling "help! help!". Then one blonde says "I have an idea, lets yell together". So they start yelling "Together! Together!"
2) Yo Mama jokes:
-Yo mama is so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
-Yo mama is so fat when she put on a yellow jacket and walked down the stairs people thought the sun was setting.
-Yo mama is so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
-Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
3) What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
4) When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Re: Good Jokes - Maikel - 16.08.2008
Haha
I know 1 joke, but it's a Dutch joke.
Re: Good Jokes - weedarr - 16.08.2008
I walked into a bar today...and said ow.
WeeDarr
Re: Good Jokes - nate660 - 16.08.2008
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Originally Posted by WeeDarr
I walked into a bar today...and said ow.
WeeDarr |
Anyway this isn't really a joke but a saying
if vodka was water & i was a duck. id swim 2 the bottom & never come up. but vodkas not water & im not a duck. so slide me a bottle & shut the fuck up
Ashes to ashes dust to dust, if it wasn't for fords are tools would rust
Re: Good Jokes - master of dragons - 17.08.2008
Nice jokes.
Re: Good Jokes - SaW - 17.08.2008
Quote:
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Originally Posted by master of dragons
Nice jokes.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WeeDarr
I walked into a bar today...and said ow.
WeeDarr |
Nice ones Yaheli, but i just don't get those yo mama jokes :S
Re: Good Jokes - Donny_k - 17.08.2008
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Walter Matthau
Your mother is so ugly that if my dog looked like her I'd shave it's arse and teach it to walk backwards
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You say to someone "oi you have something on your head", they go "where" or start rubbing thier head and then you say "oh sorry it's your face".
Stupid I know but funny sometimes.
Re: Good Jokes - weedarr - 17.08.2008
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Originally Posted by Garfield_
Quote:
Quote:
Nice ones Yaheli, but i just don't get those yo mama jokes :S |
WeeDarr
Re: Good Jokes - xClumx - 17.08.2008
An 18 year old was celebrating his birthday and his dad wanted to take him to the local pub for his first pint. Now the thing to note about this 18 year old is that he was born with a strange condition that meant he had no limbs, he only had a head. So there they were enjoying a pint when the son noticed something strange. After his first drink he noticed one of his arms had come back! "It's a miracle" he said. "Here have another" said his father. The son had another drink and his other arm appeared! "This is great!" exclaimed the son. So he kept drinking, drink after drink and after a few drinks his whole body had re-appeared. The son, now in an emotional state of mind shouted with joy and ran outside in his moment of happiness. He ran straight into the path of an oncoming lorry and was instantly killed. The bartender turned round to the father and said "Should've quite while he was a head".
Re: Good Jokes - Lazlow. - 17.08.2008
A blonde is in the first class section of a flight to New York. A flight attendant approaches her and asks, "Excuse me, do you have a first class ticket?" The blonde replies "No". The flight attendant tells her to move back to Economy class, but the blonde is reluctant and says, "I'm flying to New York and I'm flying in First Class!" The flight attendant asks the co-pilot to talk to the blonde, so the co-pilot comes to the First Class cabin and tells the blonde to leave, but once again she's reluctant and insists she's flying first class to New York. The co-pilot and flight attendant are stumped, so they go and ask the Captain for help. The captain walks up to the woman, whispers in her ear and she jumps out of her seat and runs to the back of the plane. "Wow," said the flight attendant. "what did you tell her?" The pilot replied, "I told her the First Class compartment wasn't going to New York".
Pretty bad, but meh.